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This post has a bird theme all the way through and might earn me some flack.
I have had a day of total capers and joyous, electric delight! Okay, I nearly crashed twice but one accepts these things.
Today I delivered a BBQ down to the far end of Devon where we have a store. The BBQ was huge and I had to take a van to do the job. Loading the beast was a lark. I had to retrieve it from our restaurant, wherein I really fancy the deputy manager. Whenever I meet her I am robbed of words and the ability to construct an articulate sentence, and I am sure she sees it a mile off! She is a little older than me and married, so in fairness I should not really even think about flirting but I do fancy her; she is kind and pretty with fabulous hips and lovely eyes! Anyhow, today I monosyllabicly conducted myself through the kitchen, recalling only the LFLs for her WTD, MTD and YTD, and not grasping any actual conversation, and I retrieved the large BBQ to be delivered. I had ramps for my van and wellied the BBQ in and strapped it into place. I did this parked up by the office to much flack and comment that most van drivers don't turn up in Austin Reed pin stripes with a lilac tie and matching pocket hanky!
Off I went, heading for the M5, and tanking along at 50 I drove right into a pigeon. It was very odd. There it was a second before, this whole, startled panicking bird. There it was a second later: dead, splattered, wider, and utterly, utterly liquid on the front of my van! I think the beast must have flown to Congresbury via Vulcan, and been a pet belonging to Mr Spock. When it exploded all over my screen it was a sea of GREEN! Fancy a pigeon being Green; definitely a Vulcan. It took no time at all to go from alive to dead and I was quite sad.
Much screen wash and M5 mileage later I got to the store. As I parked up my brain kicked in and to be frank I had an effortlessly rewarding day. Away from my desk and phone I had the space and freedom to simply see the direction for a couple of projects I manage; three presentations to all sorts of folk wrote themselves in my mind in about forty minutes. They are saved in my noggin and I will just write them on Monday, practice them on Tuesday, deliver them on Wednesday (audience of 12, I think) and see them through by the end of May. It was my most productive day in nine months of work; 30 minutes' chat with three capable people contributed loads of good retail that I will see through. As a customer you would notice none of it whatsoever, but that is entirely the point.
I wish I hadn't killed Mr Spock's pigeon doing it.