I think I have caught a mild case of bird flu' because since about 4pm today I have turned into a right woman. It's not a full on thing because I don't seem to have acquired breasts and in fairness that would have been most entertaining for an evening's looking at and amusement. I hope to recover all man skills overnight. This is a scary world.
At about 4pm I was gifted a perfect opportunity to chat to three attractive women outside the house and I completely missed it. Not good. Later after dinner I sat down to look at the TV guide, another blatant symptom of being a lass.
It got worse when I came to choosing a film.
I could have waited until 10pm to watch the super cool movie The Ipcress File. This is a great movie and has Michael Caine being a top dude. Mr Caine also looks just like my Dad so that would have been top too. In a total woman moment I chose to watch a movie starting an hour earlier and this was 'Bridget Jones Edge of Reason'. It's a bad case of bird flu for sure. I mean, come on! The movie was good but all the adverts between breaks were totally woman orientated. I saw ad' for crappy magazines (bad), skin plumping cream (worse) and fully locking in sanitary products (eeuuuugh). No car adverts, no movie trailers and some 3 minute spot half way through about Celebrity News and some vapid tart banging on about silky hair. And I ate two twixes.
I think I have peaked though, because there was one top smart lesbian snog in said movie and I enjoyed that. I have also cracked a can of Fosters, belched quite loudly and rolled up my socks and lobbed them on the floor well away from the laundry thingy.
However if I turn into this woman overnight I may cancel my 10.45 interview in town and just spend the morning in the house buck-naked.
An odd evening for sure. Ooh, this can of fosters is a lovely shade of blue.
10 comments:
You are such a chauvenist (in the nicest way of course!!!)
The most girly thing you achieved was eating 2 twixes!!!
Listen, is it girly to not take advantage of a chatup situation? I think not!!
And what's with the naked in the house all day thing?! Have you been spying on unsuspecting houseywivies;)
PS, Have been waiting for a bit of controversy!
Drama! Well, I missed Bloke signs rather than being a complete Doris per se, I suppose! (But the movie choice was total Birdery).
Sub, if I wake up looking like that, there's no way I am putting clothes on!
If you wake-up looking like I'll be down the M5 like a shot.
Hahhaa! Bring the baby oil...
wow. I'm scared. I'd ask you to hold me... but at this point in time I think I'd be the one to kill the spiders in the relationship. Here's to a swift recovery!
All man skills recovered this morning (to the point where you have lost me as a non-thinking bloke ref' your comment!)
Bridget, huh? Well, welcome to the club! I am very generous with survival tips if the symptoms ever recur. Just so you know...
Thanks Dandelion, I will remember you if I fall under the spell again!
So if you are a woman in the morning, will you also spend the day in front of the mirror...naked?
I would have done but I wasn't, so I didn't! :)
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