Wednesday, 27 August 2008

A small case of Bird Flu


I think I have caught a mild case of bird flu' because since about 4pm today I have turned into a right woman. It's not a full on thing because I don't seem to have acquired breasts and in fairness that would have been most entertaining for an evening's looking at and amusement. I hope to recover all man skills overnight. This is a scary world.

At about 4pm I was gifted a perfect opportunity to chat to three attractive women outside the house and I completely missed it. Not good. Later after dinner I sat down to look at the TV guide, another blatant symptom of being a lass.

It got worse when I came to choosing a film.

I could have waited until 10pm to watch the super cool movie The Ipcress File. This is a great movie and has Michael Caine being a top dude. Mr Caine also looks just like my Dad so that would have been top too. In a total woman moment I chose to watch a movie starting an hour earlier and this was 'Bridget Jones Edge of Reason'. It's a bad case of bird flu for sure. I mean, come on! The movie was good but all the adverts between breaks were totally woman orientated. I saw ad' for crappy magazines (bad), skin plumping cream (worse) and fully locking in sanitary products (eeuuuugh). No car adverts, no movie trailers and some 3 minute spot half way through about Celebrity News and some vapid tart banging on about silky hair. And I ate two twixes.

I think I have peaked though, because there was one top smart lesbian snog in said movie and I enjoyed that. I have also cracked a can of Fosters, belched quite loudly and rolled up my socks and lobbed them on the floor well away from the laundry thingy.

However if I turn into this woman overnight I may cancel my 10.45 interview in town and just spend the morning in the house buck-naked.


An odd evening for sure. Ooh, this can of fosters is a lovely shade of blue.

10 comments:

Suburbia said...

You are such a chauvenist (in the nicest way of course!!!)
The most girly thing you achieved was eating 2 twixes!!!
Listen, is it girly to not take advantage of a chatup situation? I think not!!
And what's with the naked in the house all day thing?! Have you been spying on unsuspecting houseywivies;)

PS, Have been waiting for a bit of controversy!

BS5 Blogger said...

Drama! Well, I missed Bloke signs rather than being a complete Doris per se, I suppose! (But the movie choice was total Birdery).

Sub, if I wake up looking like that, there's no way I am putting clothes on!

walsharoo... said...

If you wake-up looking like I'll be down the M5 like a shot.

BS5 Blogger said...

Hahhaa! Bring the baby oil...

Alaina said...

wow. I'm scared. I'd ask you to hold me... but at this point in time I think I'd be the one to kill the spiders in the relationship. Here's to a swift recovery!

BS5 Blogger said...

All man skills recovered this morning (to the point where you have lost me as a non-thinking bloke ref' your comment!)

dandelion said...

Bridget, huh? Well, welcome to the club! I am very generous with survival tips if the symptoms ever recur. Just so you know...

BS5 Blogger said...

Thanks Dandelion, I will remember you if I fall under the spell again!

scargosun said...

So if you are a woman in the morning, will you also spend the day in front of the mirror...naked?

BS5 Blogger said...

I would have done but I wasn't, so I didn't! :)