VX52 takes it steady.

On driving home this morning from a weekend at my parents' house, VX52 suggested that he should drive home in line with uncertain economic times so I selected the cruise control and set it at around about 100 kmph, or 62 mph. A good, steady hour back to Bristol provided this top smart MPG return, which I was quite excited about - 59mpg - get in! All that said, VX52 set his P.B on driving from Galway to Wexford where 68mpg was the result.

We love it! I am sure I will be beating off the supermodels with a stick.

Small hound.

Back home this morning after a nice Friday and Saturday night with the folks. Had a top time larking about with my brother and doing a load of jobs for the folks such as car washing, garage clearing and even DIY, at which I am pretty poor!

The picture attached is of my mother with a small hound called Humphrey who is 8 weeks old and a new resident of a pub near their house. His feet and ears were about 4 times larger than other parts of him so he was probably a bit unsteady on his feet, a burden with which I can sympathise.

Joe who?

I had not heard of Joe Biden before yesterday or indeed Scranton, PA so I watched old Joe on the box tonight and have just Googled the place he banged on about. The town is all about iron and coal, or it was in its infancy. Anyhow, old Joe was pretty good at the DNC, so fair play to him for that.

I wonder how Barack will do? He called me for some tips tonight so I said go easy on the jokes and the lofty rhetoric and speak to your TV audience. He said 'Thanks, BS5, I will'. We shall see.

My brother will claim that he had heard of Joe ages back but he's shining you on if you meet him and he says that.

A small case of Bird Flu

I think I have caught a mild case of bird flu' because since about 4pm today I have turned into a right woman. It's not a full on thing because I don't seem to have acquired breasts and in fairness that would have been most entertaining for an evening's looking at and amusement. I hope to recover all man skills overnight. This is a scary world.

At about 4pm I was gifted a perfect opportunity to chat to three attractive women outside the house and I completely missed it. Not good. Later after dinner I sat down to look at the TV guide, another blatant symptom of being a lass.

It got worse when I came to choosing a film.

I could have waited until 10pm to watch the super cool movie The Ipcress File. This is a great movie and has Michael Caine being a top dude. Mr Caine also looks just like my Dad so that would have been top too. In a total woman moment I chose to watch a movie starting an hour earlier and this was 'Bridget Jones Edge of Reason'. It's a bad case of bird flu for sure. I mean, come on! The movie was good but all the adverts between breaks were totally woman orientated. I saw ad' for crappy magazines (bad), skin plumping cream (worse) and fully locking in sanitary products (eeuuuugh). No car adverts, no movie trailers and some 3 minute spot half way through about Celebrity News and some vapid tart banging on about silky hair. And I ate two twixes.

I think I have peaked though, because there was one top smart lesbian snog in said movie and I enjoyed that. I have also cracked a can of Fosters, belched quite loudly and rolled up my socks and lobbed them on the floor well away from the laundry thingy.

However if I turn into this woman overnight I may cancel my 10.45 interview in town and just spend the morning in the house buck-naked.


An odd evening for sure. Ooh, this can of fosters is a lovely shade of blue.

Klutz!

Sometimes I am amazed I have the power to keep upright.

Three *really* attractive women just handed me a leaflet for a Fun Day at the next church along to mine (I was sat out at the front of the house). I knew the event was on because we heard about it the last two Sundays and some of our flock will probably help out. Now as you may know I am Social Sec' for my church and should be alert to this sort of thing.

Why on earth I didn't convert this opportunity into striking up some chatter is beyond me. After much analysis I have concluded that I am a bit of a Spaz. How difficult would it have been to get some chat going with that set up handed to me?

Feckin' eeeejit as my Wexford friend Seamus would say!

Kansas and BS5.

Hmm, there's more going on in this large and empty part of Kansas than here in BS5 today.

Is Kansas one of those States with one or two edges that are dead straight? Maybe down in the middle near Texas?

I am posting today because I like to each day, even when zippety-doo-dah is going on.

Massive cheese grating action!

So here is Bristol's fine new bridge across the Avon. It is near my house and takes one across the water and into the back of Temple Meads Railway station. It is very close to another new bridge only two years old so it is a tiny bit extravagant to have a second crossing so close. Anyhow, it's top smart and bright and is a bit like a cheese grater coz' it has lots of small holes in it and is very shiny.Check out the video!

Great pic'!

This post is here just because I like the pic and I enjoyed the day hugely. This is a shot from my cousin Jules' wedding which I attended just over a week ago. I found this image today on the website she and her husband used to host all their pics from the day. I'd like to say I took it but that would be a lie.

As well as meeting a very attractive Irish woman at this wedding I also had a really smart day and enjoyed it at every moment. Got a little bit sloshed too.

Top bridge action!

Today is a bank holiday so no one is off to work from my little gang. Same old same old for me of course because I am an unemployed bum! However, as the gang does not have school today we are off on a little jolly. We are going to have a gander at a new bridge in Bristol. I like Bridges a great deal and am pretty excited. I suspect we might take a pint too.

The new bridge is next to my current favourite bridge in Bristol. Crossing this one brings out the OCD in me as I can't help but count my steps. I have a 57 pace average crossing this fella.

Unrelated to Bridge action, I have applied for a job in Ireland (which takes in England too).

Beach Party

On Sunday, my local (The Rhubarb Tavern) threw a beach party so my friend Cas and I got into the spirit and dressed appropriately. This was fine when we got there but we looked somewhat out of place in the pub we went to just before.

Anyhow, once in place all went well and we had a fine time of it. There was a bouncy castle! When I was six a bouncy castle was the most exciting thing in the whole world. Thirty years later, the excitement has not diminished that much.

A Friday wedding

I went to a wedding in Wales on Friday and it was a very pleasant do altogether! It took place in a small village near Usk and the couple's house was right next to the church. My bro' was best man and spoke without notes and delivered an articulate, classy speech that hit the spot and had its own momentum and freedom. He was cool.

I sat at a table with a couple of people from school (very rarely do I encounter anyone I went to school with - that was cool), the Rev' and a finance director who was a chatty lass. I enjoy the exploratory chat of a wedding lunch - it's all by the numbers and entertaining.

Here's some pics - groom and best man, the happy couple, and one of me looking tall and grey with my folks! I meant to put bride and groom first but couldn't recall how to order the pix)

Hitcher

Just home from yet another wedding. It was top-smart (including some fantastic looking women!) and I will Blog about it later.

This post is to tell you that I picked up a hitcher on the way back along the M4 (pictured) and drove him a good few miles to Bristol where he hitched again to get to wherever he needed to be. I pick up hitchers now and again and my friend Walshy says I am mental and will get stabbed to death one day. That wouldn't do for the seats in VX52. Anyhow, this time the hitcher didn't look like a murdering psychopath so I gave it a go and we nattered about Summer festivals and "like the whole music scene, dude"

Pies

I felt like a right tubby get as I went for my run today. I seemed to have eaten several pies unawares and felt really solid as I went around the playing fields. I am sure I am still 12 stone and a half, but I felt much more. I think this is down to eating later than normal last night. Alas there was no opportunity to burn off any excess calories with Kylie.

Off to carve a chicken now.

Ooof!

Okay, I'm on a Kylie thing now; three posts on the trot and thinking RIGHTLY about that as I head for bed. Heck, indulge me!

I'm sure Kylie is thinking the same about me!

I'll be back to normal tomorrow, honest.

Top Radio 4 Action (Pt II)

Well! Radio 4 took a gear up today and the story detailed in the previous post suddenly surged into the higher gears and the outside lane; really enjoyable and still a great unfolding Book At Bedtime.

As it happens I got the Kylie tune wrong last time (Kylie does the signature tune to this particular B.A.B) and it is in fact THIS tune; surely a GDH classic!

Harmless stuff indeed.

Top Radio 4 Action.

Each evening this week just after putting out the light, I have been listening to Book at Bedtime on Radio 4. Quite often the subject is a bit right on and veers into the ever strident Woman's Hour territory (in my opinion) but this week has been a cracker. Just 15 minutes each weeknight and this week a story about a confident, chirpy Australian woman with OCD. This stands for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the woman in the story counts everything she encounters, 'the scaffolding of my life' as she calls it. The book is called Addition by Toni Jordan. Anyhow, it's a really top story and I am enjoying how it is unfolding. The piece starts and ends with Kylie and Love at First Sight (which is shamelessly catchy and dead good!)

If you want to, you can listen to Ep 1 of Book at Bedtime here

It's good.

Flock of seagulls....

No other way to say it but my internet connection is cuntingly slow this week and I am failing to communicate with Mr. Computer here on my desk. I can't sign into my own blog without quite a lot of fucking about ref' cookies, the Blog analytics page is gone, my Outlook keeps timing out, and and my KBPS rate is slower than my career right now, and God knows that's barely in first gear.

The word is motherfucker!

I am off to bed to see if it is better in the morning.

Here endeth the rant.

PS: I enjoy our success but all in all, I couldn't give a fuck about the Olympics! Such hype and OTT coverage. Liking Gabby but not much more...

Dilemma!

There's a new movie coming out and I really want to see it because I think the subject is one of the most interesting and committed Americans in decades, and a man under rated in popular culture. It's a bit of a spoddy affair called 'Jimmy Carter Man From Plains' and it's a 2 hour documentary on his role in the Middle East after leaving office when Ronnie came in.

Do I step out on my jack jones to see it quietly, enjoyably and uninterrupted (a bit sad doing the cinema on your own) or do I ask someone along who will think I have NO LIFE whatsoever!

I think I will go on my own.

Or I could just call Jimmy up himself, of course; he's quite a regular in The Rhubarb.

For Suburbia

A quick post that allows me to post a holiday reminder to my friend Suburbia who is recently returned from being away, and a top excuse for a bit of machinery action in to the bargain!

We don't get many of these here in BS5 unless they are cutting the playing field which I take a turn right around each day.

This is in fact an American tractor (from Iowa to be specific); you can tell that coz it's left hand drive.

Enjoy!

Monday stuff in good old Bristol

Today has been a strange old day and I have felt out of kilter all day long. Maybe it's the inevitable Monday feeling after a very happy weekend in the company of extended family at a thoroughly enjoyable wedding and then coming back to my house where I live on my Jack (and most happily so, I hasten to add).

A full on weekend and then my own company is certainly a contrast of numbers.

I did nothing towards a temporary or permanent role today and will pick that back up with vigour tomorrow. I did go for a run and that was tops, and I did tidy up the house a bit in places. I also emailed friends to catch up on their weekends, blogged a bit, wrote to a nice woman I met at the wedding, and made a mid week coffee date with a pal just back from two weeks in Chicago. I am about to turn in, in the hope that I will be back on form on Tuesday, feeling more like me!

I am glad to be back in Bristol after one of my favourite weekends for a while.

Wedding!

Today I am back from a great weekend wedding in Exmouth. It took place at St John the Evangelist church in Exmouth and was the wedding of my cousin Jules and her chap James, who is a Merchant Navy man.

James is from Wexford where I have a stack of good friends so it was odd to talk about villages, places, bars, people and venues that I know in Ireland at a wedding in England. The whole weekend was tops with dancing, chatting (I set a world record), eating, drinking and family merriment. I also met a very nice Irish journalist by the name of Mary and we chatted and danced for much of the evening. Very tall and fair she was too.

Here's a pic of my now married cousin. I have another wedding to attend on Friday.

I am a total bird when it comes to weddings and I love the whole thing!

Movies at home.

I watched this movie last night. It was good in places but in summary it was a TOTAL chick flick with no car chases or spaceships. Or nudity!

I chose it so it's my fault, I suppose.

Late night Blogging...

....when it's simply for nothing other than the image one has caught is rather fine.

Fitness.

This week I have resumed running, an activity I had abandoned way back in February when work seemed to explode into lengthier days. My first turn back around The Netham (nearest green space) wasn't too bad. I was hardly a marathon runner and didn't go a great distance but I have upped it a little each day and my legs feel good and springy. When I get home I have a go at the plank, an exercise good for making one's Abs all trim. I am quite good at this (and used to be the best in our little circuit training group).I don't look like the person on the link! I try press ups too but I am a complete spanner when it comes to those. The plank is very good for you and quick to take effect.

PS: Irony! The Abs link has a rolling Ad' for McDonalds. America!

BS5 in Mega-Widescreen.

This morning in an aside in emails exchanged, my friend Bag told me about a piece of free software called Autostitch. It is quite smart and what you can do is take a load of pics each one moving on a little from the next so that the edge of one overlaps with the next, and then autostich edits them together working out the best overlays and editing accordingly. After a couple of early rubbish attempts and some tips from Bag (overlap more than you think you should and photograph in portrait) I came up with these. My street is not that bendy otherwise Daphne's house opposite mine would explode right into the lounge.

If you want to try this for Windows PC you can download it here

Quite smart and if I can do it, believe me, so can you. And your dog or cat.

I need to find a massive building to snap away at or some long kind of space ship.

Shoes, a long day and a letter.

A pleasant neighbourly act this evening; the chap next door and I happened to meet on our doorsteps and he sheepishly asked if I could retrieve his 2yr old son's shoe from my garden, said little chap having lobbed it over the fence earlier. Walsharoo did that with my shoe on a very happy occasion at a pissed up afternoon at an earlier house in Bristol. He was older than 2 though.

Anyhow, I retrieved the shoe but nearly, nearly kept back the super bouncy Sponge Bob Square Pants power ball because it looked a right bit of fun. Neighbourly good sense took over and I returned both ball and shoe. Also told my neighbour that he could put rubbish sacks in my bin because I never fill mine between the two week collections but with a wife and 3 children his bin always seems full; he was hugely grateful for that, and that is the pleasure of a simple neighbourly act.

As you may have gleaned from an earlier post (I think!) I rose at 3.15 this morning and just stayed up. It has been a long day but in the absence of work, not a particularly active or knackering one (had lunch with my Ma though, and that was a pleasant surprise). I am about 18 hours in and bed approaches. Well, maybe one more glass of wine first.

Took the nice relaxed time to hand write a letter to Co. Galway this evening and I am looking forward to posting that tomorrow and seeing what happens. It would be something if it was read as pictured!

No further instances of the incident encountered at the weekend BBQ.

BS5 signing out...

Contrasts...

This weekend just gone was one of contrasts. On Sunday I did my bit at church, leading prayers. This involves standing at the front and kicking things off with a quick summary of stuff that has gone on in the last week about which people may choose to think or remember, and folding it into a narrative. It's quite daunting to speak to three dozen people on short notes but I relished in it and enjoyed it and picked a theme and warmed to it, trying to fold in some of what had been in the sermon. I made scant notes and just went with it.

On Saturday it was all rather less refined; attending a BBQ I was in charge of lifting the top of the gazebo (under which we all sat, but larger than this one) to clear it of gathering rain water and prevent its collapse. After several wines and unsteadily stood on a chair at this task, one of the other BBQ attendees chose to whip my trousers down, leaving me on show! Much shrieking and laughter from the assembled women, though having been given a task I dutifully finished that before restoring dignity! Apparently photos were taken but they won't be on the Blog anytime soon!

Quick! Ring Cowley!

Oh dear.

On a Saturday morning I really like sitting on the sofa and watching Bodie and Doyle in The Professionals. It's a top show full of great 70s action, Ford Capris, complete sexism and outrageous barnets. Anyhow, on this occasion my mate Steve came round and watched too and we spent quite some time larking about putting ourselves up as a couple of CI5 dudes!

Alas this tale came out in the pub and Steve and I have since been refereed to as Bodie and Doyle and the implication is not a hetro-sexual one. 'They're a bit Bodie and Doyle' will be the call these next few visits to the pub.

Oh well.

Oh bugger!

My Dad emailed me last night (I had been home for four days in the week) to cheerfully tell me that I had left my car cleaning gear at the house. I can't tell you how much this knackers my weekend. Disaster!

Oh well. I did clean&polish VX52 on Tuesday and it's not like I am actually going anywhere immediately to get him grubby again.

Still irritated though.

Shoeless Joe....

Tonight I am back in BS5.

Owing to complicated situations I had to walk home from my local to my house (via the chippy) in my stockinged feet and holding my shoes - many a glance taken. All a bit odd. Not these shoes but my own (alas).

Interviewed this afternoon for a temp role and also threw my CV at an exciting role supporting 80 stores in the south for a retailer with a national spread. To bed shortly, tired and content.

Balloon festival this w.e and a hundred or more hot air balloons going through the motions over BS5 tonight.

Aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh T.F! to those of you in the know.

Along the River Wye in August.

Just back from a very pleasant hour indeed taking in a walk along the River Wye just here near my folks' house. The River Wye (well this bit of it) ambles along between Herefordshire and Gloucestershire and is a big old meandering thing as it passes through these parts.

The field you can see currently has corn or some such crop in it, but a few years back it had spuds, some of which were liberated in a daring potato-break back to Bristol by me, Seamus, Bag and Walshy after a summer caper up here in Herefordshire.


A fine, sunny walk today encountering geese, swans, ducks and two bouncy German pointers.

I may now need to recover any lost bodily liquid, an my brother too, so it could be time for an afternoon snifter. And today it is my turn.

Hackers, IT and Pharmacy.

Wow, 11 folks seem to have been busted in America for hacking into wireless networks, planting sniffers and just sitting back capturing the credit card records of 40 million Septics! That's a bit scary. I heard a dude on the radio at 7.00 am who said the wireless networks were a good thing because people like to have a coffee and a surf (too right) but it was the numpties who didn't secure the networks who were at fault. I bet the IT spods at Starbucks in America are bricking it today and quickly blaming the new guy who only joined last month. The poor fecker.

If this is 11 people they have caught with 40m records, logic says there must be more they have not caught, and it's probably going on all over Europe and Asia too. Oops!

Other news: I am visiting my folks this week and their next door neighbour (a top woman just a shade older than me) wants to set me up on a date with a 30-something attractive pharmacist who works in the same store as she does. This might require a sneaky visit (in between job apps and interview prep') to check things out!

Scales.

My brother and I are both at our folks' home this week and short of anything to do (including gainful employment) have taken to larking about and doing pointless things (though I spent 90 mins cleaning my car and have been invited to inteview this Friday for a decent temping role, both achieved prior to 10.00).

Anyhow, my brother who is a very similar hieght and build to me suggested we weigh ourselves and work out our BMI (a small airline, I thought?)

We are both six four and a tiny bit and we are a couple of skinny motherfuckers (as Prince once sang in a song lyric on a tune called Bob George). I am 79kgs, my brother is 81kgs; I can only put this discrepency down to his coniderably larger old chap.

In proper terms, 79kgs is a touch under 13 stone.

Anyhow, my BMI is 22.5, apparently. I am pleased I have found this out. Haven't got a Scooby what it means.

Hose.

I am 36 years old and whilst I do not pretend to have limitless skills or experience, I do rather think that watering plants is within my grasp. However, my Dad felt he had to supervise me between tomatoes in the greenhouse and the plants all around the house. We seemed to reach the end of the task without disaster and I will add sone rather nice pictures soon. I took in beans, tomatoes and innumerable varieties of flowers. I am rewarding myself with a glass of wine and a quick gander at a rather good war obituary in the Daily Telegraph.

It has certainly been a day of variety thus far.

PS: I seem to have abandoned any sense of neat dress as my shirt is a bit untucked. I will see to this.

Dosser.

So here I am into my first morning of being an unemployed bum! I woke at a quarter to six and listened to much of the Today programme whilst not having to dress, shave, iron a shirt, bathe, polish shoes or anything like that! I applied for a small hatful of jobs, one temp' and some others of a more permanent nature. I also had my Barnet seen to at 9.00 am as I feel it is important not to let standards slip.

I have also burned to CD 'The Weird Revolution' a top-smart album by The Butthole Surfers. Not that I am driving to work anymore when I can listen to it, of course.

I may push the max' and do some housework.

Broadside

A broadside my way this morning by way of an anonymous comment on a post about leaving work! I suppose I always knew one or two folks from work would read all this, and that along the way people would disagree, take offence or think 'tosser!'

Anyhow, on we go somewhat chided, I think.

It could happen.....

I found a quid on the floor of the lounge so I am going to invest it in the national lottery tonight and see if random luck favours the recently blessed with time on their hands!

If I win a million pounds I am going to buy a massive jar of piccalilli and a load of beef to roast and eat cold all next week. Oh yes, I'll pay off the mortgage for my brother and for Walsharoo too and buy a new Merc' to keep VX52 company.

BS5 has left the building!

Well now, my last day at work was an enjoyable one. I worked like a mofo' from about 8.00 until lunchtime and then put the clutch in without any great secrecy. All stuff taken care off to ensure the fact that nobody looking after it does not mean failure. A hatful of cards and well wishing emails, and one chap who I respect suggested that 'there's a lot of dead wood they could have got rid off before you, young man' ; I liked that.

Several beers at lunch (all generously 'in')and a thoughtful sack of gifts including rather a lot of wine. Ideal!

And on we go!